I've helped numerous individuals understand that what prevented them from reaching higher levels of being was the people that surrounded them. They had gotten to a conditioned point of losing awareness in the fact that these people were for some reason not allowing progress.

("keep close what works, throw away what does not!")

For example, a client mentioned that he was planning on helping his child out at an athletic event by working out with them at practice; his partner's comment was "you're not going to go out there in your workout clothes are you"?; a personal fear of the partner that they were trying to transcend onto the father (as if to mean "I'm threatened with what others think about me when i'd do something like that" so I cannot allow that for you either)

Without going into details of why this occurs the learning here is that the father was not able to help out in a very physically and emotionally healthy situation because of what the partner thought it would mean to his, and of course her, self perception.

I coached him on the conversation he needed to have with his partner about what it may mean as being a role model to his child, about the importance of physical activity, about the opportunity maybe for other parents and children and even her to be invloved in someway for family physical activity.

In the end it did create an "aha" moment for her when he said that he was doing it for the child and other children and was not concerned about what others thought about this. A possibly good change for both parties.

By aligning himself with other parents, children and myself to create change in the process (defining and creating resources) he was able to make progress in a very healthy choice - the choice to be active and be a role model for activity.

Struggles of varying intensities in life are normal.

When you are faced with a challenge of any form, surround yourself with the right resources in order to create change and control your path.

 

James