OPTIMUM PERFORMANCE TRAINING (OPT)

You are NOT what you do!
How do you define yourself? Or have you ever tried?
An individual approached you on the street; you begin a conversation in which you both have no reason to impress one another. What is your answer when asked "so... who are you?". What would be your answer to one of the most under-appreciated questions there is?
Is your answer "I'm an engineer" or "I'm a stay at home mom" or "I'm a professional hockey player"; is that really you? Sometimes we hide behind what we do because we think that is who we are; but for some unknown reasons most times it's because we are:

Not sure who we really are
Afraid of who we really are
Embarrassed of who we really are
Attached to the false state of what we currently are and its drama

It is important to reflect on this question on your own time and be prepared to get a little uncomfortable and/or enlightened; both will lead you to awareness and noticing. The next time someone asks you about yourself, you may still define yourself by what you do, but in your mind you'll be contemplating the real answer and over time have control to truthfully answer the question.
You may ask yourself over time about WHY you are answering the way you are; see some insight into the background information on what brought you to this point, and in turn allow you to redefine yourself. It takes time. Be patient!
The reason why you need to be comfortable in your answer is to ensure you understand that there is no attachment to what you do. I have seen many times where folks are attracted to what they WANT to be or who they think they are and as soon as that is threatened, i.e. make a mistake on the job, at home or one the ice, they are crushed. They see this as an attack on who they are and what they are not capable of. It does not mean that they cannot take responsibiluty for something nor does it mean that its not good to make mistakes (we're human, it happens); it does mean that it is not a reflection of who you really are.
So who are you? I educate my clients to be OK with the answer - "I am". "I" represents your being and "am" represents your will; as in I'm here, I'm alive, I am what I am. There might be some intial interesting looks but further into the conversation you can explain to them (then taking on the role as an educator) about how it is difficult to define oneself based on what people perceive them to be or what they might WANT them to be. Your answer has to be authentic. There will come a time when you really understand what you mean when you answer the question. If it scares you to reflect on who you are, take it slow, ease into it on your own time and allow your comfort to build over time. You will slowly but surely take over control of your emotions based on the reflection.
It is important that you take time to revisit the important question frequently (practice makes perfect); The time spent on this (meditation, awareness, noticing...) will create a comfort with what you have to work with; after all, we're always evolving.

James